Behold the selfie; that bold and wonderful homage to narcissism. What did we all do before we had iPhones and could take photos of ourselves anywhere at any time no matter the circumstances or if good taste was involved?
How did we manage to not snap a quick shot in front of a burning building, at someone’s funeral, or in a public bathroom as the guy next to us was taking a whiz? We shutter (rim shot) to think what modern life would be like if we couldn’t document the amazing, the frightening, the absurd.
And speaking of absurd, here are 10 of the worst selfies of all time.
We’re hoping this is not a joke, that this person actually exists, and that they were 100% “for real” when they took this selfie. The pink smart phone gives us hope that indeed SuperFem is real and out there, somewhere, perhaps snapping a selfie wearing a flowered pillowcase and holding a giant pink stapler right this very minute. We may never know the true identity, or gender, of SuperFem, but we can all rest a bit easier knowing he or she is delusional.
Well, upon first glance at this selfie two questions immediately come to mind. Question number one: why on earth even have a gumball machine if you’re not going to bother keeping it loaded? And question number two: Is it just us or are you mostly focused on the farmer’s tan? Just us? Okay. Wait, one more question: For the love of God will somebody please let the poor dog out of there?!
Youth of America we beg of you, please don’t selfie with your mouth full! We understand in the moment that it seems like a funny idea to mess up your face, open your mouth full of… whatever the hell that stuff is (any guesses? We vote a mouth full of pickle) and SNAP! Yes, that’s good fun. But why would you actually go through with posting it online? It makes no sense.
You of course know about the hot trend where people tape their faces with scotch tape to distort them, then take a selfie, or what is better known as a “sellofie” after sello tape, and share it on their social media page. This woman loves the pouty lips effect she was able to accomplish.
There are only three scenarios we can guess are going on in this photo: 1) below him, just out of frame, is a rabid, snarling miniature dachshund 2) he’s auditioning for the role of koala bear in the school play or 3) he’s just weird. Seriously, just what the hell is going on with the youth of today?
Points we’ll give him: bothering with the guitar, pleasant relaxed smile, the believable use of tongs. Points we’ll take away: the hat and sunglasses, bringing chicken into a bathroom, beer on the grill, the entire photo. Leaving him with a negative 2. Next time chicken grilling bathroom guy, next time.
We agree that this young woman’s skirt and shirt ensemble is pretty enough to be snapped. But did she really need to take the photo right when that poor kids was getting an ass whupping for whatever it was he did? Looks like he is mid-float from the massive can of “didn’t I tell you to stop” that launched aerodynamically into the wall.
Ok, are you thinking what we’re thinking? Take a close look at the short hair, position of the mouth, ample booty and thighs… Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, we’re looking at SuperFem out of costume? Have you ever seen SuperFem and this woman in the same place at the same time? We rest our case.
In a perfect world, BBQ Bathroom Guy and Cookie Bathroom Girl would meet, fall madly in love and live happily ever after taking ridiculous food-themed selfies in bathrooms all over the world. But we don’t live in a perfect world, and chances are neither will ever find someone who’s okay with bringing FOOD into a BATHROOM.
Most of us, when we get pulled over by a cop, try not to cry as we rummage through the glove compartment desperately searching for our registration and proof of insurance. Not this kid – for him this is the perfect selfie opportunity. Can you say ballsy?
Well… We’ve given you 10 worst selfies of all time… Lol! you can use the comment box to tell us yours. We Waiting!