Hilarious!! Single Mother By Darel Storymio9ice [ @Storymionice ]

17 shares, 365 points

Hilarious!! Single Mother By Darel Storymio9ice [ @Storymionice ]

Aunty Bisi Olagoke👺 wherever you are! If you are seeing this, I want you to know that I am the one doing you👺 Yes! U will not see husband in your life!

Emi ni mo sobe😬! And in case you are wondering who this is!! It’s me Dare! You were my class teacher when I was in Basic 3! 19 years ago! You have forgotten but me I can never forget!

In Shurubomi Model School🏘.See! U will not see husband in this life. They will just be pressing your bress and shifting your pahint 4 nothing.

Thank God u kukuma haf enuf bress to go round🤷‍♂🤦. Shey dey say u haf go to all the shoshes⛪ in Ojuelegba shitta,

You are just deceiving yourself!! Even Pastor Oyedepo in Ojuelegba Shiloh can not save you!! Emi Ika🤣🤣🤣🤣👺👺👺👺

Primary skul tishas underrate dere students🤦‍♂👺. 4 God’s sake dese students have future that no one can tell🤦‍♂.

See dat small Dare today😁🤷‍♂ By the special grace of God, today I am a successful wicked boy with zero mannaz and two professional courses in Witchcraft🧟‍♀👨‍🎓👨‍🎓👺.

I can’t count my awards again🤦‍♂. There is no annual witches convention or Dinner party🧟‍♂🧟‍♀ dat I don’t collect award for “Next Rated and Best Social Media Whizhard!👨‍🎓😁” See! is nor magic🤷‍♂ it’s hard work and vocus😁.

And I’m also using dis opportunity to announce that I’m starting WhatsApp class for interested Witches🧟‍♀. Add me via 09096571491, ladies only!

I repeat! girls only😏, les be guided o😏 we will nor run mad few weeks to Ileya o🐏😏

So as I was saying💁‍♂. As long as I am still on this health🌍. Aunty Bisi will not see husband👺. Is me dar say it👺! One issue happened when I was in primary 3 and to God who made me🤦‍♂ it was a mistake and the headmaster has beat us and advice us that we shu nor do dat again o🤦‍♂.

Kud u believe dat Aunty Bisi, our class teacher followed me and my sisters to our house and called my mummy to d bak and said “Hmm! Mummy Dare! So bcos u are a single mother u are going 2 allow Dares life to spoil🤷‍♀

” my mummy say God forbid🙅”Aunty Bisi say “Hun😏Stay dere, today, dey catch Dare and 3 Primary 4 girls inside d toilet! They af off their clothes, lock d dor, won den doe rawon!💁! “My mummy shout “yay! 😳😳moku o😬🙆

Mummy Dare I’ve not gist you finish💁. U see ds ur son Dare! If you dont use iron hand on him! Olohun maje ke kabamo💁, God will not let u cry over him one day!” Yay!😳🙆”

See! Bringing up a child is not just about paying school fees and buying school uniform o! Omo kunrin need iron hand👺 U are too slack on this boy! How old is Dare?

Omo 8 years das bringing condom to school! “Yay😳🙆 I don die🙆 “Mummy Dare no be joke o💁! Dare and 3 primary 4 girls Inside toilet! As in the four of them off their pahint and lock the door.

It was their ouch! ouch! that got to propritres office and when we sneaked their quietly , Ur son wear condom on that his small penis and held it with rubber band!🤷‍♀🤷‍♀

Yay!!🙆😳 ikunle abiyamo oo😭😭🙆” My mum wanted to run mad🤦‍♂” Be saying ikunle abiyamo o💁 instead of you to use spatula to break his head! “Dare!!! Dare!! Where are you😬😬!”

Thats how my mummy went to remove television wire🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🙆‍♂🙆‍♂” Dare come inside here! “My mummy please😭😭. Dare come inside here! U want to run abi? O fe sare🤷‍♀” My mummy I’m not running!😭” come inside here now!”

My mummy please😭😭 “Dare if I run after you, ile a ga jue lo! Come here now👺!” My mummy please😭 they have already beat me in school😭😭,🙏😭! “I say come here Dare🤦‍♀”

Omo if u see how my mummy japa after me🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃🏃, she festofost knack my head on concrete “Gbas!!!” My hed started ringing bell!🥴🥴🥴 Marlians! Marlians! Marlians🥴🥴🥴🥴

My mummy please😭😭, walaitalai I will nor do dat again😭 walai! Walai I promise! Ogun! Aje😭” O boy c confam slap “kpa🖐!”

🥴🥴 i festofost weewee on my body💦 She use my leg🦵🏼 to drag me like potato sack “gbruuuu”😳🥴 She throw me inside the room “gbas!!” She lock door🚪.

“Ah🙆‍♂ die has come😭” Dare! I dinor kill my moda, so before u kill me, I will festofost kill u! Maa kpa e🤷‍♀👺” She remove her wrapper and wear jeans 👖

“Ah😳😭🙆‍♂my mummy please dont wear jeans😭, I will eat my cane by myself😭 I have lie down! Oya coman beat me😭” Dare😏 maa Kpa e leni yi🤦‍♀ i will kee u! Where did u buy condom🤷‍♀?

” I dinor buy it😭 is Kemi dar bring it 4 me da she dinor want to haf pregnant😭 “Preh what🙆😳😱😱 Dare ti kpa mi🙆🤔

O boy b4 I know it. Gbas!🖐 Gbos!🖐 gbas🖐 kpo🖐 kpakpa🖐🖐 come back here🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃🏃 gba🤜🏼 gbos🤜🏼. Yay!😭😭 my mummy please😭🏃🏃. Come back here🏃‍♀🏃‍♀ kpa🖐 kpo🖐.

Yay🥴🥴 my mummy please, i af want to die🥴 oju mi ti fo! My eyes has force🥴🥴 I can’t see again🥴🥴 my mummy please🥴🥴.

“I want ur eyes to blind🤷‍♀! Ki oju e fo danudanu😬😡😡. “Yay😭🥴” Dare! B4 u turn to a monster! Mesef i wee turn u to “who off light🥴” Is dere anytin u want I dont do for you?”

No ma😭! “U dey eat 3 times a day abi u no dey eat?😡” Is only two times I eat ma😭 Morning and night😭” Afternoon nko u no dey chop🤷‍♀” Is ordinary garri I use to drink in afternoon ma😭”

“Jesus christ🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀Iru Omo wo wa re bayi🤦‍♀🤦‍♀”

My mummy, please I will nor do dat again😭😭, please😭”Oya fem🤫 hold ur mouth🤫!” Yes ma🤭☹.

Oya gimme your hand🤲 Yes ma dis my hand👋. If u wave it!! “I dinor wave it ma😭👋” Wait Dare wat’s dat on ur stomach😳.Dare off your clothe😬.

“Yes ma! Off your pahint too “Yes ma! I have off it. Dare😳🙆😱 u draw tattoo on your pnis! Mogbe🙆”My mommy is nor tatoo😭 is Basit dar hep me to draw hair on my pnis!” U allowed ur clasmate to use biro to draw✍ hair on your pnis,

u af die today🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀ Das aw she went to carry iron sponge and jik, o boy com and see beta scrubbing on my pnis👊😭 “yay!!😭😭 my mummy😭😭 “Remove ur hand Dare!”

My mummy please😭😭 moku o😭 oko mi ti bo🥴, my pnis has wound🥴 Blood! My mummy blood🥴🥴

Mama Dare no kill Dare oo😬🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃🏃🏃. Our neighbors started banging the door🚪Gba!🖐 Gba🖐! Gba🖐! Mama Dare! Mama Dare! Open the door” Leave us oo😬

I will kill ds boy today! Omo 8 years, drawing hair on his pnis! Ah! Dare I will kill you and I will go to police station! Beeni mo so fun e! Dare! Maa kpa e😬😡!” My mummy please😭 dont kill me!

I will buy u Benz wen I grow up😭” With which money🤷‍♀ blue feem money abi🤷‍♀, I dont want ur benz! Where is blade🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀” O boy she took razor and tore my body😭😭🥴🥴 she now went 2 carry dry pepper🌶🌶🥣 poured it on me!

O boy come and see Zanku🕺🕺🏃🏃. It was when she went to carry Salt and Maggi DAT I now realized that “Yes! Ds woman actually want to use me to do stick meat🤦‍♂🤦‍♂

I din even move again, I jus lie down on the floor dere with pepper and oil on my naked body. I think say na play oo, until this woman went to plug iron😱😱.

Olopa o😱😱 “My mummy please😭😭😭” I jumped up again🏃🏃. “Dare! Me and u today!! I say I want to go to police station on your mata😬 Come back here🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀. “My mummy please dont iron my bumbum🏃🏃🏃😭😭😭 moku ooo,

Alhaji!! Daddy Moyin🏃🏃Broda shaggi please break d door🏃🏃😭😭😭 My mummy af want to put gaytor on my alligator😭😭🏃”Dare come back here🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀.

“E remain small make she iron my dumklumplor like this, our neighbour break door enta🏃Gbas!!!🚪🚪🏃‍♀🏃🏃‍♀🏃

🏃‍♀As dem hold my mummy like this, o boy, next exit, I japa🏃🏃🏃, my mummy sef japa after me🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀lorí titi oloda🏃🏃‍♀

E no even reach one minute, she don catch me! See beating for main road👋🖐! “Das how people gathered around us at the junction🤦‍♂.

Thank God 4 our neighbors “Mama Dare! Mama Dare! U want to kill ur son? “He cant die💁 just leave the two of us” “Oya leave the boy for me!”

Alhaji I’m not leaving Dare o “Mama Dare! I say u shud leave him for me, do you know who is talking 2 you? Fi Omo yi sile! “Das how they collected me from my mummy😭😭 “Mama Dare calm down! 🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀Ni suruu,

if u kill ds boy na ur head e go dey o🤷‍♂. Calm down!!” She sha calm down🤦‍♀🤦‍♀ If u c crowd🤦‍♂, all my girlfriends for area just dey luk my kokoro🤦‍♂.

It was dat day I lost my manhood and sef esteem🤦‍♂. I now luk like grilled croaker fish🐟🐟🐟

Mama Dare kilo sele? U are not always like this? Infact when Mubarak came to call me that u are beating your son, walai i tink he was playing? Kilode?

This is too much? “Alhaji see🤦‍♀🤦‍♀” das how tears started dropping from her eyes “Pele masunkun, stop crying,

Ya Allah will not make u cry over ur children, what did he do?” She sha wipe her tears and started “🤦‍♀Alhaji I’m tired of this boy!

There is nothing that Dare want dar i dont do for him! Ever since his father left us, its been only me catering for him and his sisters, school fees, feeding, accomodation🤦‍♀ is nor like I have a man giving me money somewhere!

Emi nikan adagbe adafa, ah🤦‍♀” Pele , mama Dare stop crying, why are u doing like this??

Stop crying!! “I’m not crying🤦‍♀, I’m jus tired🤦‍♀ maybe is from his Father’s side that they are doing him🤦‍♀ Omo 8 years das buying condom” Ah!😱😱🙆‍♂ lakuli jalailu

“Dare n ya tattoo s’epon” ahhhh😱😱” see his penis👉, he use biro to draw tattoo on his penis🤦‍♀ and we are living together in the same house and I did not know🤦‍♀ they said Dare was caught in school with girls😭

😭 Omo mi, my own son, Omo primary 3🤦‍♀🤦‍♀😭😭 ton se 3some🤦‍♀” Laila illalau😭 Alhaji sef confuse😱😱. Help me to ask him where he learned all these things. I no get manfriend, talkless say we dey do love for him face!

As old as he is, e no know shingbain! Ask Dare 5×5, he will say 1 billion ogantable” Everybody laffed🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Alhaji see🤦‍♀ i dont know what to say again. I’m tired. “Hmm, mama Dare, i understand, God will crown ur effort on this kids!

“Amen🤦‍♀” Stop crying “I’m not crying sir🤦‍♀” See its only the neighbors that will know that u are really trying for these kids, outsiders that see the way u just beat him will think u are a witch!

So u have to always tame ur anger! Ehn ibinu o da🤷‍♂ walai talai sumon bilai anger can send someone to prison” Its true oo” the crowd echoed “shebi u are a christian, even the bible says we shud be angry but we shu not allow the sun to set while we are angry, pele pele dowo e o,

if u are not alive nko? will u be happy seeing a step mother do your son like this? Ansa me na “No sir🤦‍♀☹

Dare you too come here!!” Alhaji called me to middle. I sha used my hand to cover my prick😏.

Alhaji slapped my hand away “remuv ur hand! Stupid boy! What are u covering! I will slap u, u will turn to Quran! Ngbo what happened in school today”

So i started “is when I go and weewee😭” Heys!🤚 I dont want to hear any stupid cry! “Yes sir ☹ is when I go and weewee in break time, I now see Mistura and Semilore in the toilet,

i now go and weewee, I now, i now wear my pahint back, Semilore now say that I shu come! I now say no, she now say that she will not play with me again,

she now say that I shu drink their breast, I now say that I’m not drinking dar i stil have water in my water bottle🥤. “Ah😱🤣🙆‍♂🤣

As she sidown inside that motto🚓 and d car started, my heart melt😔😔 and i immediately felt motherless😔☹! But thank God for our African elders.

Everybody in the neighborhood stood up! “Oga olopa👮🏼, you are not taking this woman away😬” Even all the area boys came out🏃🏃🏃🏃 cos there is no time dey want to do Carnival dat my mummy does not support with bag of rice.

So they all trooped out🏃🏃🏃 “#Freemamadare #freemamadare”. Omo everywhere scatter o, tear gas “kpo kpa🧨🧨 “Thank God for Alhaji and other elders in the area who stepped into the mata.

So Alhaji approached the police and started “Good morning officer👮🏼, my name is Alhaji Balogun, I am the Oloritun(leader) of this area🤝🤝 nice to meet u sir🤝🤝

I was still explaining when two police motto🚓🚓 came😱” Only God knows who called them🤦‍♂.

Where is the woman🚓🏃👮🏼! Hey! Ha! Who! Kpo! They don shoot gun in the air “Madam good afternoon! Na u beat this small boy like this?

“He is my son sir☹”Madam I dint ask if he is ur son or not! Infact u are under arrest for child abuse. Please respect yourself and stretch your hand👐🏼 “Yes sir☹.

Das how they put handcuff on her hand and put her in their car🚓 She now said pls wait sir “Alhaji take this 5,000, help me to buy paracetamol and🍲give Dare, e bami we fun🤽🏿‍♂ baf for him and help me to buy rice🍲 for him and his sisters, dey shu nor put spag for Dare o, he doesn’t like it” Everybody jus started crying😭😭😭😭

Actually i want to apologize for the misconduct of the youths, it wasn’t intentional sir! “It’s okay sir🤝👮🏼” But sir, if somebody see the truth and not say it,

walaitalai even Anobi wa Mohammed (S.A.W) will never be happy with that person. You see this woman! I swear to God Almighty she is the kindest person I know in this area🤦‍♂.”

All the boys shouted “na so! u no fit arrest her o” Alhaji shouted “e gbenu dake! Everybody shut up and let me talk!👺.

E n siere ni👺 u dey craze👺” Alhaji no vex” so they all kept quiet🤭🤭” So as I was saying👮🏼, Mama Dare is not a wicked person o, infact she is trying for her children! But u see, for a single mother to raise a child, ah! ko easy o🤷‍♂🤷‍♂ “Na so!💪💪💪💪😬😬😬

This woman is trying! Always fending for her children. Infact this thing that they said his son did ehn,

I’m not surprised🤷‍♂ yes! Ko yami lenu🤷‍♂ becos she is a single mother, she is trying her best to be the mother and at the same time the father!

And is nor possible🤷‍♂ “Hmm!” Is nor possible o, so she has spoilt these children while caring for them.

Imagine! Dare will eat food in the morning, you will still pack lunch bag for him, and put gala, Bobo, Ribena in his bag🎒again.

Is dat not too much🤷‍♂, When they come back from school, only u will drop key and ask them to ON generator and be watching GOtv!

Dat dey shu not come outside! How will dey nor watch blue feem🔞 without parental guidance🤷‍♂.

So officer abeg sir, if u take this woman away, there will be no one to cater for her children at home.

See, I always tell her and I will continue to tell her. Bringing up a child is more than buying bobo, gala or taking dem to shoprite.

How many times av you checked their homeworks, or go to their school to ask about their physical interaction, imagine not knowing that her son has drawn tattoo on his p*nis🤷‍♂.

When she will not bathe them? For God’s sake this Dare is too small to bathe himself🤷‍♂ if she was bathing him, he wud have found out long time?

But on the other hand, I don’t blame her, to get money in this country is whala, so she is always running🏃‍♀🏃‍♀helter sketas to make ends meet

See the last part here

Darey Story Mio9ice: The End☹

1) If we dedicate all days of the years to mothers day, it’s not enough🤦‍♂

2) It takes a lot of approach to bring up a child. Try your best to make them useful in future

Thanks for reading🤝🤝

Check out more of his stories on his official Facebook page


Darey Story Mio9ice: WhatsApp number. 09096571491

Like it? Share with your friends!

17 shares, 365 points


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: